SHOCK: Portland Man Sells Human Poop Coffee

Searching for the perfect gift for that coffee snob in your life? Well, look no further, because you can now buy human shit coffee beans! Previously, if you wanted to buy shit beans, you could only get them from civets and elephants, but fuck that! Now you can buy one-hundred-percent Grade A (?) human feces beans. Progress!

For now, it's available only via Craigslist, once this hits the internet, I'm sure a craze will rock this caffeinated nation. Check out their ad:

Gross, but do you think this could be the beginning of a trend? Portland's employment crisis is finally solved, as part-time pizza cooks and intern ceramic factory workers find their true calling in life: shitting into a box and selling it to other people on the Internet. Thousands of tattooed ovo-lacto pescatarians perched like hens, reading Adbusters and laying their perfectly formed eggs. Bonus? The owners don't even have to give mandatory bathroom breaks because guess what? Those fuckers are on the toilet all day long.

Until then, a pound of the crap coffee will cost you $30. Naturally, it's available for home delivery in Portland.

[via Sprudge]

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